


I Wanted so Badly to be Brave

by ChasingXepher



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Abusive Miklan (Fire Emblem), Angst, Baby Sylvix in love, Crybaby Felix is my weakness, Fluff, Glenn is best big brother, Hurt/Comfort, I love writing them as kiddos, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Minor abuse mentions but still tagging just in case, Sylvix as kids, these two are everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27178687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasingXepher/pseuds/ChasingXepher
Summary: Sylvain was the sun - warm and inviting. He was home. He was courage and light. Felix wanted so badly to be brave so that he could protect Sylvain from everything that dared to harm his sun.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	I Wanted so Badly to be Brave

I wanted so badly to be brave

It was rainy and cloudy the day that Sylvain visited Felix. He remembered because it was so cold and there was a chill in the air that could bite you if you weren't careful. Glenn had warned Felix to dress warmly, to which the 7-year-old insisted that he needed to be mobile – after all, Sylvain was visiting and dressing like a marshmallow would inhibit their movements. They were gonna play from sunup till sundown so they couldn't be bundled from head to toe!

They were gonna run through the halls of the house, and journey through the woods with crudely made sticks and stones to mimic the swords and lances they wished so badly to wield one day. On other days they'd play in the garden, picking out flowers to make flower crowns to adorn each other with. Sylvain looked beautiful with flowers in his hair, Felix thought.

Especially sunflowers. They looked the best on him and anytime the child saw them he was reminded of his best friend. He believed if the sun were a person it would be Sylvain. He was warm and he made Felix's heart feel warm. He made him feel safe and he felt like home.

That's why it hurt so bad whenever he had to leave. Felix hated it when he left. He'd feel so empty and sometimes months would pass until he could see him again. He'd whine and complain to Glenn because he was so busy and would never be able to play with him. He loved it when his friends visited – Ingrid, Dimitri, and Sylvain. He loved them all so much. Especially Sylvain. He didn't think it was right to pick a favourite friend but if he had to pick one it would be him.

He hated when they were apart but then the moments they’d spend together made the waiting and distance worth it. Felix wouldn't sleep when he knew his best friend was visiting – he'd be up all night thinking about all the adventures they'd go on together. It was like a holiday, except the only present he'd receive would be Sylvain, and to him, that was better than any present anyone could possibly give him.

Felix sat on a chair in front of Glenn as his big brother brushed his hair and put it in a tiny ponytail. The little boy was dressed in a sweater, with a cotton turtleneck underneath, hemp pants, winter boots with wool, and a scarf.

“Don't forget to wear a jacket,” Glenn told him and Felix pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know it's harder to play when you're bundled up but it's better to be too warm than too cold. It's damp and chilly outside. It's not summer anymore – I don't want you catching a cold.”

“Okay, okay.” He grabbed a small coat - not bulky enough to restrict him, but enough to keep him warm. He loved his big brother too much to argue anyways.

Speaking of big brothers... Felix clenched his tiny fists, “Hey, Glenn.”

“Yeah?” Glenn hummed.

“Is Miklan visiting?” Felix's voice was small, and he felt a tiny flame light in his belly.

“I think so,” Glenn told him. “I think Miklan, and Mr. Gautier are going to stay for a little bit but then they'll go home in a few hours. Why?”

“Just wondered,” Felix mumbled, averting his eyes. Felix didn't like to hate anything or anyone, but Miklan made him so angry and he couldn't help but hate him. Sylvain told him horrible stories of how Miklan would taunt him relentlessly or harm him. At first, they were small little accidents: tripping Sylvain as he walked by, putting a spider down his back, or hiding his belongings. But then they got worse, the more Sylvain aged and the young redhead realized there was something that prevented him from his brother's love and affection.

And it wasn't until recently that he figured out what that was.

Huddled with Felix under a thick comforter by the fireplace, Sylvain confessed that his brother didn't have a crest. He didn't think he was supposed to know – it was a hushed conversation between his parents and some other noble who had a face Sylvain would soon forget. But he still heard the conversation and finally, things made sense and his small little world came crashing down. His brother lacked a crest; Sylvain was blessed with one. His brother was indifferent to their parents and often ignored in favor of Sylvain – now he knew why.

Sylvain cried that night, nestled in his best friend's arms, sobbing about how he didn't ask for this gift. How he wished he was normal so his brother wouldn't hate him. If it were up to him, he’d wish for them both to be free from this curse. A lot of people thought crests were a blessing from the goddess, but Felix thought it was a curse because of how easily it could divide families apart. Especially Sylvain's.

It broke his heart to see his best friend's heart tearing apart because of this. Felix cried as well, puffy tears falling down his face because he wished he were strong enough to protect Sylvain from the abuse. He wanted more than anything to be his white knight. He wiped away Sylvain's tears with his tiny fingers, and he gripped their hands together when they had both finished crying. He made a promise that night. Another promise, like the one where they swore they'd die together. But this time Felix promised to protect him from Miklan. To keep him safe. Sylvain protected him more times than he could count. Felix wanted to do the same.

He swore it on his tiny life.

“Felix?” Glenn broke his thoughts with a gentle touch to his shoulder. Felix gave a start, whipping around to face his big brother, for some reason expecting it to be Miklan. But of course it wasn't – it was Glenn. His warm protective brother. He let out a soft sigh of relief, and then put a smile on his face so as to not worry him.

“I was just thinking about how much fun we're going to have!” He grinned. “Sylvain's going to sleepover for the weekend, right?”

“Yes, he is.”

“Yay!” Felix gave a little jump and ran to hug his brother's legs. “I can't wait to spend the weekend with him. We're going to have so much fun!! We're gonna go on lots of adventures.”

Thankfully, Glenn's face softened, and he extended his hand towards his little brother, “But first, let's get you some breakfast. Before you know it Sylvain will be here.”

Felix took his hand and the two siblings made their way to the dining hall to eat before the Gautier family arrived. Felix was practically counting down the seconds.

~

The mischievous duo set off after an important meeting with their respective families. The meeting was long and boring, and Felix couldn't stop fidgeting, looking over at Sylvain, giving him a small smile, and little glances every now and again. At one point he got so bored he started counting the tiles on the ceiling. When Felix heard the chair scrape against the floor signaling his father get up, he himself couldn't jump up fast enough.  


Glenn made sure they were dressed warmly, but Felix and Sylvain declined the mittens, saying they couldn't hold their 'swords' with that. They ran straight to the training grounds as soon as their feet hit the frosty ground. Glenn trained near them so he could keep an eye and make sure neither got hurt.

Felix and Sylvain had a couple of mock battles, one with Felix's sword snapping in half, breaking from a quick thrust of Sylvain's and it resulted in the two children hitting the ground in a heap of laughter. Since that was that, and they could no longer fight, they decided to leave the training grounds with a wave to Glenn.

He shouted to them about staying together and staying safe, to which they both said they would.

They ran to the garden next, though all the flowers and plants were wilted and frost-bitten because winter was drawing near, the two boys decided to collect what they could. Sylvain told Felix how his mom taught him how to press flowers into a book, and how those memories could then be preserved forever. It was such a simple thing but it fascinated Felix and he couldn't wait to try it.

They gathered one of the straw woven baskets and began gathering what they could find. Felix found some sunflower remains and he couldn't help but smile thinking of that sunny summer evening where he made the flower crown for Sylvain and decorated the sunny yellow flowers in his hair. He was framed against the sun, the light bathing his bright fiery locks of hair in a warm glow, his teeth grinning from ear-to-ear. Felix remembered wishing so badly there was a way to preserve this memory in time. To put it on paper and keep it forever.

Maybe someday.

There was a crunch of footsteps that sounded through the grass and Sylvain was the first to get to his feet. Felix whipped around, worried when he felt his friend get up, and then his heart dropped to his stomach when his worst nightmare was standing before them. Miklan.

His face was sporting a sneer, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked down upon the two kids. Felix balled his hand into tiny fists, with his eyes set to kill. Felix could tell Sylvain was puffing his chest out to appear taller, and his jaw was jutted out looking straight at his brother with his lips drawn in a tight line.

“And what the hell do you think you two are doing?”

“None of your business,” Sylvain told him.

Miklan gave a laugh, but not a genuine laugh, it was more like the kind of laugh you make when you're actually laughing at someone to be cruel and to make fun of them. Felix couldn't stand him - he made him so angry.

“Wait until the real world starts to rear its ugly head and you two don't get to live in your fantasy world anymore,” Miklan sneered. “No more playing with wooden swords, no more running through the woods, no more sleepovers, no more anything. This friendship you cherish so much? The world will ruin it.” He spat on the ground as if mocking the very soil on which they stood.

“But perhaps this world will treat you well. After all,” His voice got dangerously venomous and Felix felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. “you're both crest brats. You're revered and held in high regard because you were blessed with crests. They say the goddess loves everyone equally but I don't think she does. Why would she gift some kids with crests and others without? I think from the start she decided who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. We don't have a say in the matter.”

“And I think we both know where I'm going.” There was a sick smile on his face and Felix felt goosebumps rise on his skin. Miklan was acting like the two friends weren't even there. He was mumbling nonsense. Surely his words couldn't be true.

Felix reached for Sylvain's hand, clutching it protectively, as if on instinct. The redhead squeezed his hand back, causing Felix's heart to feel warm. Sylvain's hands always felt warm and safe. Miklan laughed, his eyes glinting at Felix.

“Look at the little crybaby,” The older brother mocked him. “You think you're so brave. You want to protect him? All I've ever seen you do is cry and hide behind him or your damn brother like a little baby; you'll never be able to protect him.”

Sylvain defended him, rushing to his aid like the white knight that he was, “Leave him alone! Just because Felix is younger and smaller doesn't mean he's weak. He protects me in ways you don't see!”

“In ways I don't see?” Miklan mimics, rolling his eyes. “Like what? Kissing your cuts and scrapes, and bandaging you up when you get hurt? Give me a fucking break.”

Sylvain bristled and stepped in front of Felix, shielding him with his body, their hands still connected together, as if Miklan might harm them both. Felix knew that if it came down to it Sylvain would fight his brother if he had to. He'd do anything to protect them both. Felix wanted so badly to be that brave.

“Calm down, brat,” Miklan growled. “Even though I can't stand being one second near you, I didn't come to antagonize you or your crybaby friend. Father wishes to speak to you so I told him I'd fetch you.”

Sylvain's shoulders relaxed somewhat but Felix didn't want him to go. He didn't want Miklan to steal him away, even for a moment. But if Mr. Gautier needed him, he couldn't stay away.

Felix let his hand slowly drop from Sylvain's and the redhead gave him a reassuring glance. “Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it.”

Felix believed him, and let him reluctantly go with Miklan.

He waited in the garden for him, gently pressing all the flowers and plants they gathered to pass the time. He didn't know how long it would take but surely it couldn't be too long, right? So he sat, and he sat, and he sat. He watched the sun set as it sunk into the hill overlooking their orchard in the distance.

He waited but Sylvain never came. It started getting dark and Felix regretted not bringing a thicker coat or his wool mittens. He was so cold. Where was Sylvain?

He waited a little while longer before his hands started to feel numb. He had no choice but to go back to the house. Perhaps Sylvain was nestled warmly inside, still talking to his father? He would never leave Felix out in the cold like this.

So the small boy left the garden and carried himself back to the house hoping that Sylvain was still there. He checked the kitchen and dining hall first but the maids and cooks said they hadn't seen him since this morning and their worried glances didn't settle the anxiety in his belly. He decided to check his own room but to no avail. He looked through every nook and cranny, every closet like it was a game of hide-and-seek because if it were, Sylvain was an incredible hider. But this wasn't hide-and-seek, and Felix was worried, so incredibly worried. What if something happened to his best friend?  


His feet carried him down the hallway to his last resort - the hearth room. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that the fireplace was lit. There was a soft comforting glow filling the room with the crackling of the flames, but Felix felt his heart fall when he saw that Sylvain wasn't nestled inside. It was just his brother reading a book.

He looked up when he saw Felix enter, and his expression was perturbed, “Something I can help you with, Fe?”

“Do you know where Sylvain is?” There was worry in his tiny little face and it caused Glenn to shut his book, giving him his undivided attention. Reaching over he swiped a stray hair that fell from Felix's ponytail. Even Glenn looked worried and it made Felix's belly hurt even more.

“No, I haven't. I thought he was with you.”

“Did he go home?” Felix asked in a small voice. It would make him sad if that were so but at least Felix would know he was safe, that was all that mattered to him.

Glenn shook his head. “No, it was just the Gautier's and Miklan that left. Sylvain is sleeping over.” His brow furrowed even more. “Is something wrong, Felix?”

“I can't find him,” Felix admitted, feeling tears prickling his eyes but he brushed them away. He couldn't give up hope – he had to be brave.

Glenn gently gave him a pat on the head, “Do you want me to help you look for him? Surely he can't be too far.”

As much as Felix wished for his strong brother to help he also didn't want to bother him. He had more important things to do than help Felix look for Sylvain. No. He could do it on his own. If he struggled and still couldn't find him after an hour then he would seek his help.

Felix shook his head, “No, I'll keep looking.” He squeezed his little fists determinedly. “If I can't find him after searching, I'll come to get you.”

Glenn nodded and Felix headed back out the door. This time he was smart and he made sure to grab a thicker coat and mittens from the closet before heading back outside. He also made sure to grab an oil lantern so he'd have a source of light to guide him besides the moon and the stars.

He first went back out to the garden first in case Sylvain came back to look for him. His heart sunk when he saw it was empty aside from the few scattered remains of dead plants and flowers they gathered.

His next checkpoint was the barn. That was a nice warm spot with lots of hay, the horses, and a few sheep. Perhaps Sylvain took shelter from the cold because he couldn't find his way back to the Fraldarius's house? That's where Felix would have gone if he got lost.

He peeked his head inside the barn, wide brown eyes adjusting to the light from the lanterns hanging from the ceiling. There was a small knicker from Glenn’s horse, and a few snorts and stomps from the others who were attempting to sleep. The sheep bleated in their little pen and Felix couldn't help but pet one when he walked by and his eyes searched for any source of the redhead. His heart sunk when he realized the barn was truly empty aside from the animals.

A lump formed in his throat and he had to try and adjust his thoughts but it was so hard to keep hope when he was running out of places to look. At an attempt to soothe himself he gently pet Glenn's horse and fed the gelding before he left the barn.

There was only one place else to look and that was the orchard, though Felix couldn't understand why Sylvain would be there. It was cold and the trees were dead, with no fruit or anything nestled in their depths.

Felix and Sylvain had fond memories in the orchard. They often picked apples together, and whenever they'd find the best looking ones they'd share one together before bringing the rest back home so that the cooks could make an apple pie. Felix loved those days. Sometimes Sylvain would show off and climb up the big peach tree, or even the willow tree nestled in the grove and it made Felix jealous, but also in awe, because he wished he could climb that high. He hoped to someday.

A noise started him out of his reverie and he whipped around expecting to see a squirrel or bird dart up one of the trees. He glanced around the orchard, squinting his eyes, thinking perhaps he was losing his mind but then he heard it again. Felix followed the noise, his tiny feet carrying him on the outskirts of the orchard, and then it got louder. It sounded like...

Felix's heart started pounding and his feet hit the ground running when a scream tore through the air, choking on another sob, “PLEASE!!”

It was Sylvain, it had to be Sylvain. Felix ran faster than he ever ran in his life, jumping over twigs, dodging branches that hung too low. The sobbing got louder, muffled, but still gripping his heart in a vice grip.

“Sylvain!” Felix cried, whipping around in every direction, and then with horror his eyes settled on the well and with a sickening realization, he realized that's where Sylvain was. Trapped inside. “SYLVAIN!!”

Felix screamed so loud he thought he tore his vocal cords. The cold wind made his lungs burn and he felt his eyes start to tear up. He heard Sylvain's sob harder, but it sounded mixed with relief. “F-felix...!” He cried, voice cracking, his vocal cords stretched thin. Felix hated to think how long he's been down there crying and screaming for help. And how cold, and how scared. Gods, he wanted to cry.

Felix gripped the top of the well and peered down in. He could see nothing but inky darkness and the sound of dripping water, along with Sylvain's sobs. “I'm here, Sylvain.” He choked out. “I'm here! I'm not gonna leave you...”

“F-Felix, I'm so...c-cold,” Felix could tell his voice was shaking, not just from fear but also cold, and it broke his little heart. How he wished for nothing more than to take him in his tiny little arms and bring him back to the fireplace in his house. He had to get him out of there.

“Don't worry,” Felix's hands shook as he gripped the well, trying to think of how to get him out of there. It's not like he could go down there and get him, then they'd both be trapped and back to square one. He thought and he thought until he settled on an idea but he didn't know if he was strong enough.

“Is the bucket down there?” Felix asked, hoping to the goddess that it was. He heard Sylvain shifting, searching in the darkness for the wooden bucket.

He cried out in relief, “Yes! It's down here.”

“I'm going to pull you out. I want you to hold onto the rope and use the bucket to hoist yourself up the walls. But I can't do this on my own. I'm going to get Glenn's horse.”

I'm not strong enough. He balled his hands into fists, fighting off the urge to cry. He had to be brave.

“I'll be back, Sylvain. I promise.” His feet hit the ground running, his destination the barn. His lungs burned and his eyes could barely see through the wind buffeting his face. He reached the barn as fast as he could, throwing open the door with a slam, starling half the barn inhabitants. Felix felt an immense relief wash over him when he saw Glenn's horse was still awake. He gave a little knicker of acknowledgment when Felix stepped inside his stall.

“I have an emergency,” He told him, stroking the black horse's mane as he grabbed a lead rope off the wall. He spoke to Glenn's horse often, especially while him and his brother rode horseback together, and whenever he was in the barn doing chores. The two developed a bond and the horse was especially soft to the little boy. He was very good at sensing whenever Felix was upset or needed comfort, and he definitely needed that now.

Felix took the horse's muzzle in his hands, looking directly in his brilliant blue eyes. “I need your help,” Felix told him, and the horse blinked, nickering and gently butting his head with his muzzle.

“Sylvain is in trouble. He's trapped at the bottom of our well. We need to get him out. Do you think you can help me?”

Talking to Glenn's horse provided him such a source of comfort and immense relief washed over him when the horse snorted, almost as if he understood exactly what Felix was saying. Urgently, he led the two of them out into the blistering cold, and they both ran to where Sylvain currently resided.

“I'm here, Sylvain!” He yelled out in an attempt to soothe him. Gods, they had to get him out there as soon as they could or Sylvain would catch his death. Felix reached for the rope and wrapped it around the gelding's neck and tied it in a double knot. Not tight enough to choke him, but tight enough that the friction would keep it from snapping open during the climb. Sylvain was only ten and if the horse could carry his big brother and his father, he knew Sylvain would be a lightweight even with gravity on their side.

“Okay, Sylvain,” Felix yelled. “We're ready to pull you up. Hold tight to the rope and use it to hoist yourself up. We've got you.” He swore it on his life. He wouldn't stop until Sylvain was safely out of that well.

“M-my hands are so cold,” Sylvain trembled, “but I've got as best of a grip as I can.”

We'll have to work fast. Felix thought, giving an encouraging pet to the horse. “On the count of 3....1....2...3!!!”

The horse neighed and grit his hooves into the ground as he pulled backwards with all his might, while Felix coaxed him on. With every step backwards, was a step closer to Sylvain being free. Glenn's horse knew what to do with Felix's encouraging words, and he left the gelding's side to stand by the well, praying to see Sylvain as he ascended.

The horse's hooves crunched on the dirt as he pulled, and he pulled, and he pulled, hearing Sylvain's voice bouncing off the walls of the well as he got closer, set Felix's heart aflame. Goddess please. He prayed. When that mop of red hair peeked out of the darkness, he reached down to help pull him out, and when he was finally able to scramble out of the well, both boys hit the ground with a thud.

Sylvain was shaking, hot tears cascading down his cheeks and as soon as Felix saw his torn and bloody hands he promptly burst into tears, pulling him close and never letting him go. Gods, he probably tried to climb out. There was so much blood and scrapes all over his baby skin. He looked broken and battered beyond belief. Felix's heart ached more than he ever thought possible.

They sobbed in each other's arms, Felix just rocking the redhead back and forth, running his tiny little hands through his hair. “It's okay,” he soothed him. “it's okay. I've got you. You're safe now...”

But even with Sylvain in his arms, Felix was terrified of the state he was in and still couldn't rest his tiny heart. He knew they had to get back quickly. Sylvain was soaked with blood and grime covering his body. He needed to be attended to as soon as possible.

“It was Miklan,” Sylvain choked on a sob. “He...he pushed me in. We never met up with my father, he was just lying!!!”

Felix's heart tore in two and shattered upon the impact of his words. “He'll pay,” Felix sniffled. “He can't get away with doing these mean things to you. The goddess won't let him get away with it anymore. And neither will we.

Felix's words were enough to bandage up the open gash on Sylvain's heart and the two little boys got on top of Glenn's horse to ride back to the house. Felix could take him back to the stables later, right now getting Sylvain inside where it was warm and safe was his priority. He didn't let go of Sylvain, even when they were galloping, having him near him the only thing that helped ease his worries.

Sylvain was going to be okay, he kept telling himself. He had to be.

Felix's hand shook as he opened the door to the den where Glenn last resided. He let out a shaky sigh of relief when he saw his brother was still nestled inside.

“Glenn?” His tiny voice cracked.

“Felix?” Glenn searched for the sound and found Felix standing in the doorway. He knew right away that something was wrong. He was Felix's big brother, and big brothers always knew when something was wrong or amiss, Glenn was no exception, and Felix liked that about him. He was so perceptive.

His brows furrowed in worry and he ushered Felix into the room. Felix's eyes were welling up with tears again and his hands were balled into fists. “Felix, what is going on?” He asked, coaxing him to open up.

“I found Sylvain, Glenn,” His tiny hands shook and he reached out to clutch his brother's coat for comfort. “I f-found him but he's hurt... M-miklan pushed him----”

“Pushed him?” Glenn didn't get to finish his question because Felix promptly burst into tears, wailing in his embrace.

“H-he lied, Glenn! He took him away because he said their father had to speak to him but he didn't!” Felix's tiny body shook with sobs as his brother consoled him. “Miklan tricked him and he pushed him into our well. Sylvain is hurt and cold and I need help – please!!!”

“Shhhh.” He murmured against the small boy's hair. “Shhh, it's gonna be okay. We'll take care of him. I promise.”

“I need you to help me,” Felix wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. “I d-don't want father to see him and send him home. P-please, Glenn...”

Glenn nodded understanding what Felix was trying to say. The small child didn't want Sylvain to be seen by anyone other than them. He was hurt and broken, and if their father saw him in that state they might send him home. He, as well as Felix, knew what damage that would cause, coming back into his abuser's home, even if said abuser was his brother. Felix wanted them to take care of Sylvain, and keep him safe until Mr. Gautier came back a few days later to retrieve him from his stay. If that's what Felix wanted, that's what Glenn wanted to.

He nodded, “Let's go get, Sylvain.” And he took Felix's hand as the two made their way down to where Sylvain was currently hiding in the mudroom at the southwest side of the house.

~

Glenn did exactly what Felix asked, holding Sylvain in his big strong arms and shielding him from the rest of the world so no one would question what happened to the little one. That was the last thing he needed right now. The two brothers took him straight to the infirmary to grab some gauze, alcohol, bandages, and then to the bath.

They cleaned his bloody fingers and bandaged up the beds where the nails broke off from the climb. It made Felix hurt so bad but watching Glenn tend to him so tenderly with care, made Felix's heart feel warm. He knew he was in good hands.

When they were done cleaning Sylvain up the two boys got a bath, and Felix washed Sylvain's hair, making sure to be extra gentle to soothe him. Glenn talked to them both while they were soaking in the bath so that it would give them some unwanted distraction from the noise inside their heads.

When they were finished and Sylvain was clean and warm, the two boys bundled up in pajamas, and Glenn started a fire in the den where Glenn was studying previously.

Under normal circumstances, they would have slept in Felix's room, but this was a completely horrifying aftermath of a traumatic situation so Felix insisted they sleep in the den so they could be near a fire to keep Sylvain extra warm. So, Glenn being Glenn, brought them wool blankets, quilts, and pillows and made them a makeshift bed on the rug so they would be close to the fireplace. He even draped a few over some chairs situated in the den so they could nestle themselves inside a blanket fort.

“I'll be down the hall in my room if you two need me,” Glenn told them. “Don't be afraid to wake me up. Good night.” And he bid them adieu, shutting the door on his way out.

Glenn took care of the two friends and told them they were gonna have a boys day out tomorrow – just the 3 of them. He'd take them into town, they'd get lunch, shop at the markets, maybe go to an art museum. Felix couldn't wait! It was just Sylvain needed.

He glanced at his friend and reached out his hand to touch his shoulder. Sylvain was staring into the fire absentmindedly and Felix knew he was surrounded by his own thoughts. When he felt Felix's touch, he blinked out of his revere and glanced at his friend with a grateful smile, but the smile didn't match his eyes. His eyes were so tired, with purple shadows, and heavy lids.  


“Thank you for everything,” Sylvain murmured, gratitude shining in his eyes. “If it weren't for you I would be....”

“Don't say such a thing!” Felix scolded, pulling him close. But deep down he knew it was true. He knew how close Sylvain had come to death. If he had stayed outside any longer, or even worse, overnight, he probably would have died of hunger if frostbite and chills hadn't killed him first.

Felix squeezed him close, rubbing his back, and pressing his cheek up against his head as the two friends nestled in the warmth of blankets and each other. “I'm so glad I found you,” Felix whispered. “And you're safe now. I won't let him hurt you ever again.”

“Felix?” Sylvain's voice was so quiet, Felix strained to hear it. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Am I...” He faltered, swallowing hard, as his body started to shake from emotion. “Am I a bad person if I...if I want my brother to go away?”

Felix shook his head. “No, I wish he'd go away, too. So he can never hurt you or put you through pain.”

Sylvain's voice shook as confession spilled out of his mouth. “Sometimes...I even wish he would die.”

Silence and the crackle of fire were the only sounds in the room. Felix nodded mutely to his best friend, unable to find the words to say anything, but secretly agreeing with him deep down. Felix would never wish harm or death upon anyone. But abusing and hurting his best friend was grounds for divine punishment as far as he was concerned. He'd do anything to keep him safe.

“I wish.... I had a brother like Glenn. One that loved me and cherished me.” Felix squeezed his hand in response as he spilled more of his thoughts. “Sometimes I think what I did to deserve this. Why the goddess decided to punish me like this. You know how Miklan said he thinks we're all destined to die and go to heaven and hell based on our fates? What if I'm destined to go to hell?”

Felix felt his heart clench and he squeezed his friend tighter. “Never! Miklan was lying, Sylvain. You'll never go to hell. And if you do... I'll be there beside you. I'll walk through hell with you and I'll never leave your side.”

Felix heard Sylvain sniffle, fighting back tears. “Thank you, Felix.” Sylvain's warmth radiated from his body and coupled with the fire, helped the two friends stay toasty on a winter night. Sylvain was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “You're so brave.”

“I'm not brave at all!” Felix shook his head adamantly, pouty lips drawn in a frown. “After all, Miklan called me weak and...I'm too emotional. I'm...a crybaby.”

Sylvain pulled away from Felix's embrace, brows furrowed as he stared him in the eyes. “Being emotional doesn't make you weak, Felix! Don't listen to my brother! I think... I think it makes you strong because it means you care so much.” He nodded fervently. “And you saved me from the well all by yourself.”

“Glenn's horse helped.”

“It doesn't matter! You still were brave enough to stay out in the cold to look for me, brave and smart enough to think of how to save me. You're brave Felix.” His small hands reached out to cup Felix's face.

Felix felt tears spring to his eyes and he let them fall. Sylvain wiped them away with his thumb.

“I just want to protect you,” Felix whispered. “The way you do for me.”

“You do protect me, Felix.”

“But it's not enough!” His voice cracked, rough with emotion. “I want to protect you from him. I want to get stronger so he can't hurt you anymore.”

Sylvain was quiet as he glanced at the fire, and Felix followed suit, just staring at the flames and feeling the warmth of each other's tiny bodies bundled up in quilts. After a few moments, Sylvain broke the silence.

“Felix? Can we make one more promise together?”

“Anything,” Cross my heart and hope to die.

“If it comes down to it and we have to fight my brother someday...” Sylvain trailed off, playing with his fingers. “will you help me? I wouldn't want to fight him with anyone else.”

“I promise,” Felix showed his pinky to Sylvain and the two laced the tiny fingers together, interlocked in time.

And promise he did for Felix never went back on his word. When it came down to it he would stop at nothing to protect Sylvain, and him with Felix. Miklan's reign would eventually end, Felix swore, even if it was because of his own blade shoved inside his vile heart.

~

Glenn kept his promise and he took the two friends to town the next day. Felix was on cloud nine, scampering along with Sylvain in tow and they traveled through the market, buying various fruits, veggies, bread, and other assorted food to take home. They also stopped at some of the various vendors, looking at all their wares. Glenn bought them both swords – their first swords, albeit wooden. The two boys were overjoyed and neither could stop thanking Glenn.

They went to a small quaint pub where musicians played music and they ate lunch, and then lastly Glenn took them to an art museum like he promised and two boys had the time of their lives. It was such a good day and when they went home, Felix couldn't help but animatedly tell his father everything that went on. He felt on top of the world but then that came crashing down faster than he could blink.

Sylvain got deathly ill to the point where he couldn’t leave the Fraldarius estate after a few days. The Fraldarius brothers weren't sure if it was a late reaction to the trauma, cold, and hell he had to endure, or if he picked something up while they went to town but the ten year old was in bad shape.

They commissioned a mercenary to deliver the news to Margave Gautier and they were on their way to see their son. Felix prayed to the goddess that Miklan wouldn't come – that he wouldn't see him in this state because he would probably find some sick satisfaction with everything.

Felix didn't want to leave his bedside but eventually Sylvain developed a high fever and started hallucinating so they put him under quarantine. Only nurses and the doctors they called in from town were allowed to visit. It killed Felix not to be there – he didn't want Sylvain to think he was giving up on him. He had to pull through.

During his free time after studying and practicing sword techniques with his new sword, he'd visit the greenhouse in town with Glenn. He had planted sunflowers right before winter hit. Though greenhouses were not the optimum environment for the flowers to grow in he had sown the seeds because they reminded him of his best friend and he wanted to gift him a flower crown for Christmas.

He was thankful he decided to do this because it's like his brain knew he'd need those sunflowers eventually. He could have bought them from merchants in town for a hefty sum of money since they were out of season, but Felix felt they were more vital grown from his small hands.

He brought a vase from home and gently plucked the sunflowers from the ground, making sure to keep their roots as he submerged them in the water. He held them protectively in his arms as they rode back home, the flowers nestled to his chest, embodied with his love.

~

Eventually, Sylvain's fever died down enough that they let Felix visit for a short while, to talk with him. His family had priority so they were the first to visit, and Felix felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise when he saw Miklan was with them. He balled his hands into fists, shaking so hard. It was his fault his brother is sick. He probably wished Sylvain would die and the thought made Felix sick to his stomach.

After they left Felix was allowed to enter. He sat the sunflowers by the window so they were facing the sun, and he hoped their cheery demeanor would help Sylvain heal faster. He was able to speak now, albeit laboured, so Felix sat beside his bedside, with his hands clasped in his lap.

Sylvain's glossy eyes focused on him, a tiny smile settling on his face. There was a cold washcloth on his forehead to help combat the fever, and he was bundled up tight in a downy feather blanket. Felix wished so desperately that he could hold his hand but his father forbade it, saying he didn't want anyone to catch what the redhead caught. Felix hated his rule.

And so he sat with his hands in his lap, kicking his tiny legs back and forth. “How are you feeling?” Felix asked though he knew the answer. Not good.

But Sylvain being Sylvain, chuckled weakly and said, “I'm getting better. My fever has broken and I can eat more than I did yesterday. The nurses think I should be better by the end of the week, though, I'll still have to take it easy.”

“That's good,” Felix murmured fondly. “I'm so glad you're doing okay. You had me worried...”

“I'm a fighter, Fe.” Sylvain boasted, as best he could underneath all the thick blankets. “You know I wasn't going to give up.”

“Did Miklan say anything?” Felix asked quietly, gripping the material of his coat. He didn't want to hear the answer, but at the same time he needed to know. 

Sylvain was quiet for a moment, pursing his lips. “He didn't say anything, it was mainly mother and father talking but...” His eyes narrowed. “The look he was giving me was so cruel. Almost....as if he was glad I was sick. Like he was hoping I would...”

Felix grit his teeth, “Well jokes on him because you're still fighting. Let that spite keep you going.”

“Yeah!” Sylvain agreed.

“I think father had an inkling of what was going on,” Sylvain admitted after a while. “I think he knows Miklan dislikes me. He might have some suspicions.”

“Which is a good thing, right?” Felix asked.

“I think so. It means he'll keep a close look on him at least.”

“As will we,” Felix reminded him. “I made a promise to protect you and I'm gonna stick to it. We don't break pinky promises.”

Sylvain smiled, his teeth wide and white, though the action caused him to cough a bit afterward. “Of course we don't.” And then his little voice got serious, as serious could be. “And I promise to protect you. We'll be by each other's sides until the end.”

Until the end of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Nanowrimo 2019. I loved this too much not to upload it~ 
> 
> I ended up cutting out the ending where I fast-forwarded to the present where they both kill Miklan like in-game. I just didn't like it enough to keep it, and I liked the simplicities of them as children with baby crushes. ;3; So I just left it like that.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Talk to me on Twitter if you want! I'm @Aviditty


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